sometimes being lost is a good thing right?

Today I feel lost being gay and having autism. I feel like there no map out there to guide me on how to feel and what I should or should not do. all the rules seem to change a lot so I hard to know if following them or not. The one thing I know I never really dated before so haveing someone in my life is new.I don’t have someone right now. that being said it tough for me this time of year to be alone because my depression kicks in and I start listening to those voices in my head. As starting to come to terms with a lot of things I notice that there is a pain there too so let the healing begin